It kicks ass. No, shut your face. It does. I don’t care, it kicks the living shit out of any ass you’ll ever come across.

Yes, I have read the criticisms, and yes, I know what everyone’s saying. Sure, the story isn’t all that great, but my ‘excuse’ for that is simply: Don’t forget we’re seeing a movie based off an 80’s cartoon based off some Hasbro toys. Come on, it’s big fuckin’ robots! It doesn’t need that much of a story! It has big fuckin’ robots! Big fuckin’ robots!

Today was the second time I saw it, only this time I saw it at a cimena three times as big as the previous one. It was also three times as awesome. I still think that all the Transformers looked fantastic (This time it’s not a pun), and on the big-ass screen it was even more clear. The special effects are wonderful, the humour is in all the right places and overall the acting isn’t too bad.

There are two points of criticism from my side though.
First off, as Scott Ramsoomair (VG Cats) has said: ‘You have one token human and then make way for the fucking robots!’ I agree with that. There were way too much human characters involved. This cuts into screentime for the Transformers. Which cuts into the awesome. You do not cut into the awesome for some lame depth-less characters. You just don’t. It’s wrong.
Secondly, also mentioned in the same comic: ‘Wait…did the black robot die?’
Seriously. They had to kill one robot, and they did it in a hardly noticable way. Really, it wasn’t that clear. And in the end, they just go “He didn’t make it.” “Oh well, we lost a fine companion but gained a shitload of others, so who cares about Jazz.”
Not only that, but why? WHY did they kill the ‘token black’ robot? Why? Even in robot-world it has to be the token minority? Didn’t they approve of his street-slang? (“Yo bitches, I’m Jazz, this looks like a cool place to kick it.”) Why!? They could have at least given him a less ‘black’ voice, that would’ve made it less offensive. If they all learned to speak English from the ‘World Wide Web’ (Prime said it, not me), why did everyone have a normal voice, and Jazz got the street-accent? Did he browse the wrong website? What!?

Also, I’m pretty sure there’s going to be a sequel. They’ve at least kept the option open. I mean, Optimus Prime’s speech at the end (“I am Optimus Prime, and I send this message to any surviving Autobots taking refuge among the stars: we are here, we are waiting.”), plus the fact that during the end titles you see Starscream flying into space, it’s pretty obvious.

I was mucking about on, and yes, there is going to be a Transformers 2. See how I predicted that. I’m that good. I know, a blind man from Jersey could’ve seen it coming. Let me have my moment of ego.

Other than that, it kicks all form of ass. Go see it. Then go see it again. And again. Then buy the DVD and see it again. I know I’m gonna. Five out of five for this one.




~ by freudianzombie on August 4, 2007.

One Response to “Transformers”

  1. Yea, it was a good movie.

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